No End In Sight
I’ve been staring at the blinking cursor on my screen for what feels like hours but has probably only been two minutes. Nearly eight months have passed since the accident, but still, it's the only thing I know how to talk about.
ESSAYS
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Next Year Will Be Different
New Year's Eve is a funny time. A night when we gather with our loved ones and toast to the memories we have made over the past 364 days. Our dreams and aspirations for the coming spin around the sun glint like jewels in our eyes as we sip champagne, light off fireworks, and imagine how we will narrate the coming seasons with our internal monologues. What trips we'll take, what skills and trades we'll try, what we hope to…
The Gluten-Free Casserole
How I became the patron saint of gluten-free suffering while channeling my romantic humiliation into a Thanksgiving assignment. It was the week before Thanksgiving in 2015, and I was on the phone with my sister Amanda trying to square away our plans for the holiday. “You want me to make a gluten-free what?” “A gluten-free casserole.” “You want me to make a casserole. Without gluten.” “Yeah. Kam and I aren’t eating grains right now.” This was a problem. Kam, Amanda’s closest…
Portland’s Just Not That Into You
A love letter to instability, church basements, and the city that keeps almost killing me. In the minutes after walking out of my office job in Spokane, Washington, I panicked and weighed my decision. It was a silent revolt; I shouldered my purse and calmly made my way to my car at what could have been mistaken for a lunch hour. I could turn around and everything would be the same. I’d still have a job. I’d still have a paycheck. I’d…
l o v e
Eternal companionship is not a goal, it's a threat. I waste a preposterous amount of time preoccupied with the idea of love, dating, relationships, and the general concept of romantic companionship eternal until the sun burns out. Anyone who knows anything about me can tell you this. Someone who is an acquaintance of an acquaintance could tell you this. A stranger could tell you this, purely from the observation of frenzied desire glinting in my eyes within a limited interaction.…
Soaked In Slythurine
If being single in your thirties wasn’t already humbling enough, there's always the slow erosion of dignity. Author’s note: This essay mentions references to Harry Potter, and was written at a time before it became known to me that JK Rowling had outed herself as a malicious transphobe, bigoted TERF, and generally awful person to be avoided. Trans people have always existed, and will continue to always exist. Trans rights are human rights. Long live the trans community. As I…