A Tale of Two Picnics

Baked lemon-pepper salmon drowning in a sea of butter, garnished with an abundance of thick, juicy overlapping lemon slices and a soft dusting of chopped parsley. Roasted Brussels sprouts tossed with diced bacon and slivered almonds, sweetened with a drizzle of honey, and spiced with a pinch of cayenne pepper. A springy spinach salad with apple bits and avocado cubes, topped with crushed walnuts, dried cranberries, and homemade olive oil-dijon dressing. A luscious, technicolored fruit tart that sparkled like a…

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The Reign of Rasputin

It was four o'clock on a Sunday afternoon in December, and I was shredding page by page out of a copy of The Graveyard Book in the courtyard of my apartment complex with a lit cigarette tucked between my lips. I wasn't a regular smoker, but when news trickles down the social grapevine that the person who you thought was the love of your life broke up with you in order to get back with their ex, in that moment…

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The Trash Cake

It's the morning after I've been dumped, and my head feels like someone is standing on it. I awake with a hangover that I'm convinced the Lord weaponized as biblical punishment to those who prioritized dancing around golden cows over bellowing off-key hymns in His honor while hunched over on cold, wooden pews. As I'm fumbling for my phone on the nightstand, the events of the night before start to replay for me, like a horror film running at a…

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