A Tale of Two Picnics

When life gives you lemons, bake salmon and get dumped in the woods. Baked lemon-pepper salmon drowning in a sea of butter, garnished with an abundance of thick, juicy overlapping lemon slices and a soft dusting of chopped parsley. Roasted Brussels sprouts tossed with diced bacon and slivered almonds, sweetened with a drizzle of honey, and spiced with a pinch of cayenne pepper. A springy spinach salad with apple bits and avocado cubes, topped with crushed walnuts, dried cranberries, and…

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The Reign of Rasputin

Falling for villains, losing the plot, and finding closure in smoke and whiskey. It was four o'clock on a Sunday afternoon in December, and I was shredding page by page out of a copy of The Graveyard Book in the courtyard of my apartment complex with a lit cigarette tucked between my lips. I wasn't a regular smoker, but when news trickles down the social grapevine that the person who you thought was the love of your life broke up…

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The Trash Cake

It's the morning after I've been dumped, and my head feels like someone is standing on it. I awake with a hangover that I'm convinced the Lord weaponized as biblical punishment to those who prioritized dancing around golden cows over bellowing off-key hymns in His honor while hunched over on cold, wooden pews.

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